Turing
Turing would definitely be a kayak (thank you for comments). It’s small. It’s human powered. It’s often used as a beginner “boat”. And it’s also very Canadian.

Original photo by naokomc
Java
Java is a cargo ship. It’s very bulky. It’s very enterprise~y. Though it can also carry a lot of weight. Will carry a project, but not very fun to drive.

Original photo by cfarivar
Perl
Perl is a tugboat. Powerful enough to tug Java around, in 80 characters or less.

Original photo by xeeliz
Ruby
Ruby is difficult to describe. It’s sleek, sexy, and very fun to drive. Here’s a picture. Very trendy.

Original photo by Tony Falcon
PHP
PHP is a bamboo raft. A series of hacks held together by string. Still keeps afloat though.

Original photo by permanently scatterbrained
C
C is a nuclear submarine. The instructions are probably in a foreign language, but all of the hardware itself is optimized for performance.

Original photo by Ryan C. McGinley
HTML
HTML isn’t really a programming language boat.

Original photo by ascendeddaniel